Living the Dream

Last night the Buffalo Sabres traded franchise goaltender and American Hero Ryan Miller to St. Louis in the first blockbuster trade of the NHL trade deadline.  As a result, backup Jhonas Enroth unexpectedly had to play in his spot last night.  However, the ramifications of a goalie trade before game time run deeper than that.  The NHL requires all teams to dress a backup goalie for every game, so in situations like this where two are not readily available, teams need to get creative.

Enter Ryan Vinz.

Vinz works as the director of hockey technology (whatever that is) for a company in Buffalo and is a former member of the Sabres' staff.  He was nearby and available to the desperate Sabres, so they signed him to a one day contract.  For signing an emergency one day contract, the new goalie receives $500 and gets to keep their personalized jersey.  Not a bad deal to watch a game from the bench next to a bunch of professionals.

What makes the situation even better for Vinz is that he basically had very limited experience as a goaltender at any level.  He tried and failed to walk on to his college hockey team.

And while this situation may seem kind of crazy, which it is, it does happen from time to time.  Earlier this season the Vancouver Canucks signed a 43-year old backup that had last played minor league hockey in 2001-02 to replace an injured Roberto Luongo at the last minute.

These guys get to live the dream for a single day and have an experience that will be with them for a lifetime.  Here's hoping that a team calls me up one day when a situation like the Miller trade arises.  My qualifications include being picked first for hockey in gym class with the express intention of making me goaile and owning a plastic Jason-esque hockey mask.

Imma' Set It Straight

Okay, for real, the Beastie Boys had the greatest music videos of all time.  Do you disagree?  Well, you're wrong.  I mean come on.

Intergalactic

Sabotage

You're sabotaging my page views by not continuing this Pulitzer-quality article.

They Found Me

I've been found.  I guess this means I have to post something now.

A Night Out with the Pens

I found this story online yesterday of a guy and his girlfriend and how they ended up gallivanting around Raleigh with members of the Penguins between games 3 & 4 of the 2009 Eastern Conference Finals.  It's a really entertaining read.

And  despite the fact that I'm not old enough to drink I'm a *teensy* bit jealous.

Robert Downey Jr. to Remain Tony Stark; I Cry

Rejoice

Microsoft: "We Done Goofed"

As I previously documented, the Xbox One thus far has been a bit of a disaster.  Basically, Microsoft wanted to change everything about how game ownership has previously worked.  You could no longer just lend someone a game without jumping through hoops.  Used games of any kind would face similar restrictions.  The system would require a connection to the internet once every 24 hours or it would no longer function.  The reaction was, to put it mildly, bad.

But today, Microsoft decided that their policies sucked, most likely due to the backlash, and changed many of them to reflect what the PlayStation 4 and the current generation of consoles already do.  They updated the Xbox website to reflect these changes.  

While I've already preordered my PS4, now I'm debating if I've made the right choice.  I think that, for right now, at least, I'm going to hold on to the order I've already made and then get the Xbox One at some point next year when the exclusive games I want are released.  The PS4 is still $100 cheaper, after all.

The Eighth Passenger

I have a bad habit when it comes to browsing the web that sees me open a link in another tab and then then leave it there for days.  By the time I finally bother to look at it I forget how I was linked to that particular article or why I wanted to read it in the first place.  This is an example of such an occurrence.

These are all of the tabs I have open as I post this.  I suggest clicking on the image for a better look.

I've had this article about movies that have had their titles mangled by translators over the years open for days without bothering to look at it until now.  It's fairly interesting and elicited a few laughs from me over the poor nature of some of the translations.  If you have nothing better to do (which you obviously don't, considering that you're reading this blog), it's worth a look.

And here's another gem:  The French title for The Hangover.  I don't understand the point, considering the title remains in English.

1,000 VIEWS!!!

I'd like to thank the Academy.

It only took more than a year but we have 1,000 views.  Which isn't really that much.  But still.  May the next 1,000 come much more easily.

New & Improved

Blizzard of Kozz now supports Facebook comments.  Log in through Facebook, rip into my posts.  It doesn't get much easier than that.  I for one welcome our new Facebook overlords.

Laugh on, Mark.  Laugh on.  

UPDATE:  Apparently it isn't working now.  I tried.  Maybe I can get it working again later.

UPDATE 2:  It seems that if a normal comment is posted, the Facebook app disappears.  I'll try to figure out a solution later.  The funny part is that none of this really matters because I think this blog may have like 20 total comments anyways.

Random Musings About a Movie Soundtrack

It has been well established that Radiohead is one of my favorite bands.  But for a while now, when I hear one song of their's in particular, I always imagine it being used during the opening credits of a movie.  That song would be "Planet Telex," the opening track off of their second album entitled The Bends.

Now hear me out.  Imagine some indie movie about a dude.  Very descriptive, I know.  After finishing the prologue, the screen segues to black.  After a few seconds, an alarm clock goes off.  The screen shows the alarm on his nightstand, followed by a hand slamming down on the alarm to turn it off.  The instant the hand turns off the alarm, the song begins to play.  While it's playing, a montage of previously referenced dude going through his morning ritual to prepare for work begins.  He brushes his teeth, showers, eats, shaves, etc.  

After showing him driving, he enters the office he works at, the office he desperately wants to escape because he feels that there has to be something more to life than this mundane job he must experience day-in and day-out, as the narrator explains.  The song fades as his boss approaches him.

....And scene.

It's perfect.  Some Indie Movie About a Dude is Academy Award winning stuff.  

I think I need to seek a profession as a screen writer.  I actually have a few decent ideas that I think could work as movies.  Maybe one day on here I could share one with you, my beloved audience.  But I don't want to make that promise.

And if I ever see this happen without some sort of compensation coming my way, someone's getting sued.  

Until next time, this has been Random Musings.

Human After All

For the past five years of my life, I've had a metal wire lining the teeth of my lower jaw.  They called it a "retainer" but it really was more of a "torture device."  For those five years, I had to grow used cutting my tongue and food getting caught in the wire.  There were times I wanted to take a pair of pliers and just rip the   thing out myself.

Luckily for me, today I had it removed.  My mouth definitely feels weird, but it's a feeling I look forward to getting used to.  I'm so glad to have that nightmare behind me.

The only downside is that now with no metal in my body, I can no longer consider myself part machine.

Alas.

UPDATE:  When I returned to pick up the transparent retainer that I'll need to wear at night from now on, the orthodontist starting touching my new haircut, curious as to how I keep it up.  I can now confirm that I have the mid-30's female demographic firmly on lock.  Things are looking up.

Texty Texts

Texting is a wonderful invention.  It allows you to quickly and effortlessly communicate with anyone.  Effortlessly for anyone else, that is.

I may be the worst texter in the history of forever.  The way I think leads me down a dark, dark path when it comes to texting.  I tend to overthink things.  And by "things" I mean everything.  Instead of going with the flow of a verbal conversation, a text message allows me to sit back and articulate my thoughts.  For me, this turns out to be more of a curse than a blessing.  Texting to me is akin to an extreme sport.  It wears down your body and requires acute focus and the right mentality.

A typical example of my texting procedure is as followed:

After deciding on the content of a message a message, I type it out, just like anyone else.  But at this point, simple hitting "send" is not a option.  There are a multitude of additional checks that my message must pass before I dare send it.  I will sit there and edit it over and over again.  The words must flow perfectly.  The meaning must be unable to be misconstrued.  My attempts at humor must not suck.  The text must be an appropriate length.  And after summoning the courage to send the text, due to my inability to not overthink, there is approximately a 90% chance that I believe that I failed on all accounts.  And then all I have left is the prayer that what I sent wasn't the worst thing ever to be documented.  If I were to die right then and there, do I want my final words to be from a poor text message?

If I've ever had a text conversation with you, I guarantee that you were on the receiving end of a similar scenario.

A few weeks ago I saw an episode of How I Met Your Mother where Ted attempts to text his latest girl which immediately reminded me of my internal struggle:

 "I started things off with something cute and charming: "I was thinking about you, so I thought I'd send you a little texty text". And the moment I hit 'send', I realized, it wasn't cute at all. It was the lamest thing anyone has ever sent to anyone. And the worst thing about texting is that once you send it, you can never get it back."

Right in the feels.  And he's right.  You can never get it back.  It's out there for the NSA to mock forever.  Therefore, the saga continues...

Totally Not an Advertisement

Over the past few weeks I've developed an addiction to Honey Bunches of Oates.  Considering that I'm writing this at 2:30 in the morning, it should be no surprise to my dear readers that I'm a night owl.  When you're a night owl, you tend to get hungry late at night, and Honey Bunches of Oates have become my late night snack of choice.  It doesn't matter what flavor, I freakin' love this stuff.  Though I am partial to the fruit blends such as the peach or the raspberry that I am currently eating.  And there are at least 2 more boxes in the basement so I'm set for a while.

Life is good.

And I totally didn't just get paid to advertise a breakfast cereal.  Though I should probably look into the possibility.  Maybe they'll give me free boxes.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go eat some more <3

денщик

I normally don't buy additional skins/costumes for games.  I don't see why I should pay real money to make my characters look pretty.  A costume has to be pretty amazing to make me even consider buying it, and Injustice delivered today.  I bought this skin without hesitation.  I mean, come on!  Russian Batman?

Here it is in action against Scorpion, who was released last week:

Who to Root for in the Stanley Cup Finals?

Tomorrow night begins the 2013 edition of the Stanley Cup finals.  Unfortunately, my team isn't in it.  So now, the big question is:  Who does Blizzard of Kozz officially support during this last struggle for the cup?

This might sound obvious, but the answer is:

The Chicago Blackhawks.

This isn't for the reason you may think.  It goes far deeper than the fact that the Bruins embarrassed the Penguins in the last round.  It is because of my deep seated hatred for one man:  Jaromir Jagr.

As you may or may not know, Jagr started his career with the Penguins in 1990, winning back to back cups with the team.

Jagr (right) with Mario Lemieux

 In the early 2000's, the team stunk.  He decided he wanted out, claiming that he was "dying alive" in Pittsburgh.  So we traded him to the Washington Capitals for basically nothing.  After playing for the Rangers for a number of seasons, he left the NHL to play in Russia.  In 2011, he decided to come back to the NHL, and claimed that he wanted to play for Pittsburgh as a thank you to the team and Mario Lemieux for starting his career.  It appeared that he wanted to make amends.  Instead he spat in the face of the Penguins and took a higher paying contract from our biggest rival the Philadelphia Flyers, who of course beat us in the playoffs last year.  Most Penguins fans were ready to welcome him back with open arms.  Instead he will forever be branded in Pittsburgh sports lore as a traitor.

Projectile vomit everywhere

After being traded from Dallas, the team with which he began the year at the trade deadline, Jagr joined Boston for their championship run.  However, he hasn't been that productive, only gathering a handful of assists in the playoffs and no goals.  But the point stands.  I have no interest in this man even getting REMOTELY close to another cup win.

As such, I am supporting the Blackhawks.  The Pens were in competition with the Blackhawks to lead the overall league standings for most of the season, with each team tying with 36 wins.  Chicago won the award with 5 overtime loses being worth one point a piece.  The Penguins, on the other hand, never lost in overtime, giving the 'Hawks a (36-7-5) record to Pittsburgh's (36-12-0).  Seeing them as a rival most of the season led me to root for their opponent in each of their previous match ups during the playoffs, but now the situation has changed.  Jaromir. Jagr. Must. Go. Down.

Go Blackhawks.

Blackhawks captain Jonathan Toews after winning the Cup in 2010.

It Will Be Mine

Today, I can claim victory, and these trinkets as my spoils.  To avoid the typical rat race that is the launch of a new console generation, I decided to go out to Gamestop today and see if they began taking preorders on the PlayStation 4.  Fortunately for me, they were.  I'm getting a PS4 day one, along with Call of Duty: Ghosts and Battlefield 4 (the dog tags came with the Battlefield preorder).

When I was in 8th grade, trying to get a PS3 at launch was next to impossible.  People camped outside of stores for days for their chance to get their hands on one.  I went to Sam's Club at 6 in the morning the day of release to see if they had any, seeing as there was no line outside the store, only to find out that they had exactly one console for sale for the one other person who was waiting.  The next few weeks I called every store in town almost every day asking if they got any more in, until eventually I was able to get one at a Best Buy near my grandparents' house in West Virginia.  I'm so glad that I don't have to go through that again.  Or pay $600 for the console.

Xbox Fan Support Group

After the PlayStation 4 upstaged the Xbox One at E3, some are finding letting go of Xbox to be more difficult then they initially thought.  We're all in this together.  And it's for the best.

Early Christmas AKA E3 Roundup

Ahhhh the Electronic Entertainment Expo.  More commonly known as E3, this event held yearly in the LA Convention Center plays host to all of the biggest names in the gaming industry as they announce and demo loads of new games.  This particular year was extra special, as with a new console generation looming, many of the games were for the next generation consoles.  I'll get to the consoles in a second, but right now I want to highlight the games that caught my eye at the show.

The Last of Us - (PS3)

Naughty Dog is arguably one of the greatest game developers in the business, and The Last of Us is just another excellent addition to their pedigree.  The game actually comes out on Friday and has received universal acclaim.  I'm really excited to get my hands on it later this week.

Star Wars Battlefront

Star Wars Battlefront II is one of my all time favorite games.  I can't even begin to imagine the number of hours I've spent playing it on PS2 and more recently PC.  People have been clamoring for a sequel since 2005, but for various reasons it was never produced.  Until now.  Obviously this is just a teaser announcing that the game is in development, so nothing is really known about it yet, but hopefully it remains faithful to the older games.

Kingdom Hearts III - (PS4)

Back when I was in middle school, Kingdom Hearts was the bee's knees.  Since the release of Kingdom Hearts II in 2006, they've released a ton of spinoffs on various handhelds that only served to convolute the plot even further.  I said that if they made a true third entry that I wouldn't be interested.  I lied.  I'm actually really hope this ends up being as good as the previous games, and now that Disney owns Star Wars, Marvel, and Pixar, I really, really hope they can be incorporated into the game.

Battlefield 4 - (PS4, XB1, PS3, 360, PC)

I'm pretty burned out on Battlefield 3 for various reason, but Battlefield 4 is going to allow for a whopping 64 players per match on next gen consoles, compared to a meager 24 in the PS3 and 360 versions of Battlefield 3.  Despite the game looking very similar, the larger scale battles and the new destruction and maps features give me enough of a reason to give it a shot.

more after the break

"The Run" & Other Fun Physical Activities

Below is my Facebook post the day after I began jogging:

"I'm trying this new fad called uh, jogging. I believe it's jogging or yogging. it might be a soft j. I'm not sure but you just run for an extended period of time. It's wild."

Hilarious stuff.  That got me 12 likes so you know it had to be good.  Anyways, during my finals week this past semester, I had a revelation.  I decided that I had to do something to make me a better person, something that would allow me to gain at least one shred of self confidence and something that would give me a goal to work towards.

This is heavy.

What I decided to do was exercise.  It's something that I've always wanted to do more of, but I was embarrassed to begin in front of prying eyes at the gym at school, so I figured that this summer would be as good a time as ever to start.  The day after I came home, I began going for a 15 minute or so run every morning after I got out of bed, and a few days later I began lifting weights and regularly did other light exercises such as push ups and sit ups.  Today, I believe, would be my 34th consecutive run, a feat I'm quite proud of.  

I also got a haircut, which I am starting to believe was one of the best decisions I've made in quite some time.

I briefly touched on all of this before in the final stage of my triumphant return to blogging.

Continued after the break...

There's Always Money in the Banana Stand

I've been ranting and raving about how good of a show Arrested Development is for a while now.  Imagine my surprise when I went to go pick up my paycheck at Target today and found an Arrested Development t-shirt immortalizing the Bluth's Frozen Banana Stand.

Unfortunately, the mediums were completely gone, so apparently someone must have taken my advice and watched the show.  My shirt will have to wait for another day.  But in the immortal words of Wayne Campbell, it will be mine.  Oh yes, it will be mine.